Tom,
Well done on your daughter in law. Sorry for your family’s difficulty. I just got back from Honduras Monday morning and am there frequently for work. Simply put, it is very dangerous.Any person can be mugged in broad daylight and even killed for a simple cell phone. One of my associates’ sister in law was mugged in front of the airport terminal in San Pedro Sula at high noon by gangsters in heavily up armored automobiles! Unfortunately riding a public bus is simply madness for an American. This story happens all too often in Honduras to ordinary Hondurans and of course there is little interest so little reporting. Even lurid cases rate very modest coverage in the local papers. It is very disturbing to see. I appreciate our wonderful country with all its problems more each time I go and come back. My best wishes for Liza’s recovery.
Kevin

Not that you asked, but…

Mr. Ashbrook, I don’t mean to seem churlish, but I do not care to read about the faux-harrowing adventures of your daughter-in-law and your oh-so-connected son. She’s a student at UCSF medical school, one of the finest medical schools in the country. And I can just imagine what causes your son to work in a downtown San Francisco skyscraper. Law? Investment banking? Hedge fund?

I have all the sympathy for your daughter-in-law, and wish her and her husband all the best. But are you so dense that you cannot realize that only the wealthiest Americans can afford to charter a medevac jet when a loved one suffers a serious injury overseas? Not all of us can get the dean of UCSF medical school to intervene.

You were “in awe” as you watched your son work the phones. Please. Once upon a time you were a reporter, right? Working the phones and calling all and sundry is what you did for a living. Tell me your son isn’t determined enough, resourceful enough, rich enough, and above all, well-connected enough to do the same thing when his wife is seriously injured?

Aside from a gratuitous “Thank God” your missive conveys no sense of gratitude. You give us a full measure of everyone’s suffering, inconvenience and heroism, but no sense of gratitude that your family belongs to the class in America that has the wherewithal to resolve these sorts of situations in 48 hours. It had to be left to Mr. Kevin Green, a commentator, to express the appreciation for this country that your story inexplicably omitted.

Next time you choose to share your vacation adventures with your listeners, please pause and reflect that not all of us can afford to go to school in New Haven, can afford to attend medical school (even a state school such as UCSF), or work in powerful, high-paying jobs in skyscrapers, or have the clout of a nationally syndicated public radio host. Some of us are just plain folks. I wish Liza a speedy recovery and best wishes to you and your family.

Tom – Shocking read. But glad to hear your daughter in law is well. Hopes for a speedy recovery. And kudos to your son.

But to the insensitive JL – Where is your humanity? Or empathy? A family went through a stressful, chaotic, emotional episode. They called upon every resource at their disposal, just as you and yours would. Don’t belittle them for doing their utmost. And please don’t begrudge another for their position in life, better or worse, or a father for pride in is son’s efforts during difficult times. Could you imagine the converse? Quite frankly, in the face of their situation, you cynicism makes me sick.

Tom, as a long time listener, thank you for posting this. I think it’s great that you shared this here and in the same sense that 9/11 launched OnPoint, maybe this traumatic incident will launch you into blogging some views into the backstory of you, a person we just know from bio snippets and a (great) moderator’s voice.

Many ideas for shows in this incident: dangers of traveling to places like Honduras or Mexico City, how medical outreach works (and doesn’t), or maybe a more general show conflating this incident with the K2 accident under the umbrella of personal risk and responsibility. There is a risk in venturing into places where support is difficult or impossible and when those places are remote with politics involved things get hairy.

PS: Such is the internet that JL’s comment stands and no doubt hurt’s Tom’s raw feelings. If this conversation were happening in Tom’s or JL’s living room, I doubt JL’s attitude would be the same. I’m not sure if Wen will take the comment down but I suggest Wen and JL read this post by Derek Powazek: 10 Ways Newspapers Can Improve Comments. OnPoint isn’t a newspaper but the list will be useful reading for both moderators and commenters.

JL’s comments sound like unmitigated and hateful jealousy, and he makes most of us unwilling to give any credibility to anything he says.

I believe I(and JL) would do everything at our disposal to bring our loved one home. True, some of us would have a harder time doing it, but we would try every way we could to make any headway. I, like most readers/commenters, just send our best wishes for a full recovery for Tom’s daughter in law. I can only imagine my stress level if the story had been about one of my children and their families.

As someone who has known Tom, Dylan, and Liza (a closest friend since the age of seven) for a long time, and who was following this situation as it unfolded, I feel compelled to comment here.

What I think some of these comments have missed is that Tom and his family were, I think, quite cognizant of their privilege and luck in being able to bring Liza home as they did. As I spoke to Dylan throughout this process, he expressed nothing but awe, gratitude, and a very real awareness of how lucky he was that Liza wasn’t more badly hurt, how lucky we are that we don’t live somewhere where this is commonplace, how lucky and privileged he was to have the dean of the medical school on board, to be able to get the medevac plane, etc, etc.

I think this comes across in Tom’s piece as well, if it is read without an eye to blame. I, for one, read his comment that “lots of hurdles, clearances, insurance mazes — and money — before the planes will move,” as a reflection on the sorry state of affairs in which a great deal of money is necessary to get these things done – and on the real tragedy that for many people, these planes will not and cannot move. Likewise, the doctor’s comment that sticks with Tom, “you have to prioritize your traumas,” is meant to be heartbreaking and chilling, not to imply that Liza’s trauma is more important than those of others on the bus merely because she is a US national, a medical student, Tom’s daughter-in-law, etc.

It is true that in writing about what touches one’s own family we perhaps have a tendency to inflate the scope of a tragedy or to disregard the luck, privilege, or blessings that have come our way, but I don’t think that’s what’s happening here. I also don’t doubt that this experience has changed the way that those involved think about precisely these issues: luck, privilege, care, heroism, violence, tragedy. And I trust that, as Richard aptly suggests, we will see this awareness reflected in Tom’s coverage.

Thank you, Tom, for sharing a very personal story. As a fan of the hard work you do both in preparation and especially on the air, being calm, even tempered, and as far as I can tell as close to impartial as humans generally get – I had to do a reality check as I read the first few lines of your story. Even though it’s obvious, rationally, that you and even the most vaunted celebrities are not immune from violence and chaos and unpredictable reality, the imagination sometimes sees you in an unreal protected bubble- which clearly does not exist. Seeing you as privileged may fit and even enhance some cherished view of the world in relation to ourselves, but the world often fails to cooperate in substantiating our prejudices. We simply never know how hard the other guy really has it. It’s decent, however, to take an interest.
I’m glad you were in awe of your son. What a feeling. It sounds to me as if he deserves it. I’ve never run a marathon, but I imagine it renders one plum tuckered. Continuing to function under such anxiety, stress and pain has demonstrated to Dylan, Liza and assorted well wishers (myself included) a steadiness of love and will, as well as the all important competence, which is bound to serve him well through the coming years. Of Lizas’ experience, little is known; but as PG Wodehouse once said (of a character skinned alive and boiled in oil) -”can’t have been pleasant for her”. Shock and pain and trauma. I know that gratitude and a new understanding will follow. I would say that Dylan and Liza have some new fans – I hope there will be updates.
As for JL’s comments, I wish I could say I don’t understand, but I can’t even say not guilty. Waves of disappointment and frustration can overpower our better judgement, if we happen to have any. A nice, bitter rant feels really good for five or ten minutes – but that’s the church I used to go to. The hangover is murder.
Here’s wishing one and all the best of all possible outcomes, but whatever happens, let’s keep on prioritizing those traumas.
William

I sincerely appreciate the responses to my post. I most appreciate Sarah’s comments because she spoke to Dylan and makes abundantly clear that he was quite aware of his fortunate position. Fair enough. I did not read Mr. Ashbrook’s post with an eye toward affixing blame. Rather, I believed his account lacked a self-awareness that professional journalists display when writing about any matter – even if it involved his family. I have no desire to prolong this discussion. To those were offended by my post, I apologize. I wish Tom, Dylan, Liza, Sarah, Kevin, Jadot, Richard, PJS, and William long lives filled with joy and love. May none of us ever be on the wrong side of a bullet.

I’m so glad that all worked out well for your family Tom. I’m unsure as to who urinated in JL’s Corn Flakes but his anger is certainly misplaced. It must be tough going from dawn to dusk carrying such bitterness.

Take care Tom and best wishes to your family.

Thank you Tom for your story. For relating the sadness, the fear, the urgency, the horror, and thank goodness, with all your efforts and the efforts of others, things turned out well. Thank goodness for that. You opened up a family story to us. Thank you for writing it to your listeners. I love listening to your show. I listen to you on the radio as I loved watching Tim Russert on TV. I’m so grateful you are on the air. I thank you for the wonderful work you do and I’m so glad all turned out alright with your family.
D. Peabody

Thanks, JL.
William

Your daughter in law is so gangster, people that blog about her get comments, love and the haters.

Those who know will understand.

Great post Sarah!

Best wishes to you and yours Tom!

Thanks JL, well done.

Peace.

Richard

Thanks, JL, and I apologize too for my comment that you might have had an eye to affixing blame, this was a poor choice of words on my part.
Best to all, especially Liza, who walked last night!

I realize amends have been expressed and we should move on but, to JL, if your original post is what you write when you “don’t mean to seem churlish,” it beggars the imagination what you would put if you meant to be churlish.

Thanks for sharing about Liza. I was shoot in Honduras Sept 23, 2004 and my husband and I understand the feelings that you and the family have had and will continue to have in the days ahead. Our prayers are with Liza and your son and the family.

God Bless,
Patsy

Thank you for sharing your story so full of bravery, strength and wisdom. Sad to be reminded that life is so fragile and often turns on a dime.

“Prioritizing your traumas” is one I will remember as well.

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