By: Ralph Anderson

Ralph Anderson — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:43:54 +0000

I found the comments and discussion on Joan Wickersham’s new book “the Suicide Index: Putting my Father’s Death in Order quite compelling. My wife’s father committed suicide when she was 18 years old and had left her home and was living at the Y.M.C.A. She reports that her father was an alcoholic and suffered from depression. He hanged himself in the bathroom. Her family never discussed his death. Her mother would not go back to their apartment and found a new place to live. My wife went back home to live with her. I believe my wife continues to suffer from guilt that if she hadn’t left home, her father would not have committed suicide. My wife will be age 65 in October and still has not dealt with her issues surrounding her father’s death. She is a very private person, very sensitive and is really living the life of a semi-hermit. I am out going, like people, an alcoholic myself with 25 years of sobriety in A.A. It just makes me so sad (and angry at times!) that we are unable to live a full, healthy life that we both deserve. I love my wife and, therefore, I try to accept her as she choices to live her life. We have tried counseling and I’ve tried everything I know but she continues to be a very private person and dosn’t wish to change. Some days she seems to love me (and only want me!) and other days she seems to hate me and my active life style! If it wasn’t for A.A. and Al-Anon, I don’t know what I’d do. Our younger son is an alcoholic and has put us through a lot! My father was an alcoholic and later after he died, my mother became alcoholic. I also suffer from depression and am on medication and continue to see a pastoral counselor.
ralph a., Shrewsbury, MA

Comments on: ‘The Suicide Index’ (excerpt)

By: Ralph Anderson