I learn that when a kid turns 18, he is considered independent, and financially separate from the parents. If he (or she) can’t hold a job and become independent, he can apply for SSI and for state run residential program. Some could use the income to pay for rent or live at home if he and his parents don’t have safety issues. As far as I know, the residential places are usually for people with more serious mental illnesses or behavioral issues. Plus many mental ill patients often have drug or alcohol addictions due to ’self-medication’.

If someone can qualify for Social Security Supplemental Income, then he is also qualified for Medicaid which provides pretty good coverage for mental ill treatments.

Yes, life isn’t fair and bad things happen to good people all the time. We got to deal with what we have, and advocate for the needy when we can.

I have a teenage son who was diagnosed with major depression last year, and he is turning 18 soon. I worried if he could hold a job and be self sufficient. I learned that depression is not as serious as bipolar and schizophrenia, and it is often recoverable. We were extremely lucky and grateful to get the proper help and treatment for him and he is stable now and doing well in a therapeutic day school.

With proper treatment, people with schizophrenia and bipolar can get better too and become functional adults. We have guest speakers who suffer from these metal illnesses come to our NAMI classes from time to time to show us how much they overcome.

Best of luck to your friend’s son, and other struggling parents out there. Don’t give up.

And yes, Mari, I know not all abandoned children have mental illness. There are both good and bad parents out there. Very sorry about yours. Life is not fair. It is good that against all odds, you turned out well. You no longer need love from your parents. The best love and strength come within ourselves. May God bless you and your children.

I heartily agree with this, but it would not have solved my friends’ situation (with a schizophrenic son). They had just two children. They had a very solid income and both parents are professionals with well-established careers. One is a medical professional. Both kids are adopted, so the parents were well-versed in dealing with social service type bureaucracy, and I’m sure they left no stone unturned in seeking help.

Bad things do happen to good people. We need to accept and understand this- difficult because it means acknowledging that something terrible could happen to oneself-and devote some national resources to helping families in this tragic situation.

They are not all “mentally ill”, nor are they all poor. They are spoiled, unhappy and loveless adults adrift in a pointless search for the perfect “lifestyle”. In a word, consumer bred American. We do not teach love in school. My grandparents taught me that in deeds done. We now teach money, only. Nobody over the age of 55 can ever get enough of that.

Nebraska is known as the Heartland of America. If this is what we are doing in Nebraska, lord help us all.

Thanks Tom,
Mari

There are resources out there such as NAMI and Dept. of Mental Health, and others, but one needs to put a lot of effort tin searching for it. Plus there could be months for the application process for some of the services. It takes a village to raise a child. People should not have too many children when they can’t provide for their kids financially and emotionally. Dropping off troubled teenagers in a facility that is not set up to serve them is not only irresponsible, and it’s also unwise.

I am very sad to hear about the 34 teenagers being abandoned by their parents in Nebraska and read about Mari’s story here. Life is suffering enough for everyone. It will be unbearable to be brought into this world by parents who are incapable of love …

This story is an nightmare, and it’s something that could happen to anyone who has children (the rate of schizophrenia is about 1.1% of the population). This is not a family that blew off dealing with the situation or looking for help–they are hardworking, ultra-responsible, and smart–both parents college-educated and worked all their adult lives.

Meanwhile, the US spends more on the military than the rest of the world combined. Something is seriously wrong with our society.

You would think that legislators would speak to people in the social service field before writing legislation like this. I am brand new to the field, and I could have predicted that parents would drop off their kids for a variety of reasons.

Besides that though, I have several comments.

1. Parents do not go to jail or get their kids taken away for light spanking. To be sent to jail, have your kids taken away, or even to be indicated for child abuse, there have to be marks on the child. This means that the “spanking” is usually more like a beating.

2. There are services available to help these families. However, the services are far and few between in some areas, and the funding for the services are constantly being cut. With budget cuts and salary cuts, there are not enough workers, and it is harder to keep a reliable workforce. If we funded agencies adequately, we would be able to provide consistent (and better!)treatment to both the parents and the children. Are we going to invest in families or not? Do we care about them enough to truly help or just enough to keep their heads above water? Do we care enough to help pay for the treatment? America needs to decide.

3. You can help too! Don’t just wait on the social workers, psychologists, and other people to step in. We cannot do it alone (especially when our budgets are changed constantly). You do something. Donate your time, money, or things to a local charity. Volunteer as a big brother or sister. Just do something.

Under a well-managed system, young associates could be excused from school, and given education credits for time worked. Small monetary allowances could be allotted, with the chance to compete for occasional vacation days and sick time. This would be a great way to teach young associates a work ethic, while cutting bloated education budgets. What better way to put an ailing economy back on track?

What I wouldn’t give to have a few young urchins around the offices of my firm, First World Securities. Sign me up!

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1859951,00.html

A few years ago the governor closed 3 of the regional mental hospitals located throughout the state. There were close to 500-700 beds available for residents of the state of Nebraska who needed long-term mental health services (including substance abuse). After closing three, he has left one 200 bed mental health treatment facility for the entire state. The state tried to justify closing these centers by saying they were working more toward a community-based (and cost-effective) model of treating patients. However, it is irresponsible to assume less than 200 people in the entire state will require such services. There are not enough psychiatrists and psychologists to be able to handle the amount of people seeking services in this “community-based” model. Such a shortage of specialists is especially disconcerting when many of these patients’ situations are critical and often involve the safety of someone’s life.

The state has essentially revoked services which should be available to a vulnerable population who cannot even advocate for themselves. The lawmakers are completely out of touch with what the needs are of people who cannot access these protective services.

I cannot imagine that the difficulties that the parents apparently experienced weren’t also present in the schools. If they were, as I suspect, the educational system is mandated to provide services either through the IDEA or ADA. Though services are ostensibly targeted toward schools problems, they can encompass the home environment. These services are suppose to be comprehensive (e.g., everything from tutoring to mental health). Though these services are supposed to be available, they are sometimes not presented to parents as resources.

In my experience and observation, the balance has/is tilted more towards individualism here in the US (or maybe it was always that way), and some of the problems we see in the society can be attributed in part to excessive focus on individualism, a fetish on doing-it-all-alone and personal “freedom.” IMHO.

As someone raised in a culture that values the extended family, this abandonment phenomenon is very disheartening. Children born with HIV/AIDS in the poorest countries in the world are not abandoned. often, these children are born to ailing parents, who, themselves are on the verge of death and starvation, and are thus being cared for by family and relatives.

Maybe it is time we went back to villages raising children – shared responsibility!

I believe the problem has to do with the erosion of the nuclear family, driven by a corrupt corporatocracy, which puts profit first and thereby guts the average person’s ability to provide for a family. If you have stability in your life today, you are in the minority.

p.s. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7065205277695921912

Thus, forcing the existing mental health institutions and organizations to deal with these kids. It’s unfortunate because many of the organizations that help these families and kids are already underfunded and struggling to find qualified staff.

One thing I’m curious about is that nothing has been mentioned about the reasons this law made it through. What is the other side of this? What was the reasoning behind making this law? I would be surprised and very disappointed to learn that lawmakers, presumably people with families themselves, would allow a law to pass unless without any reason.

In the world of verbal LD (dyslexia) we have a term for some problem parents: “dys-parentia.”

When a parent doesn’t know what to do, it’s only a few steps beyond saying/feeling that to bundling a child into the car and dumping him off; certainly better to give your child over to the state than to beat it to death.

I vote for the speaker who said we need a public education campaign on the development of the adolescent brain. I wish I knew when my kids were small what I’ve learned since about brain development. To a large extent, it’s about education and consciousness-raising, and providing more help to parents in crisis, without penalizing them.