thanks
Please show me the way.

My gratitude is from the bottom of my heart, because first, OnPoint is a great radio talk show that even bothers to talk about this issue, second, Margret is right on the point.

Being an immigrant, I have always felt the same way how “Thank you” and “Please” are being overused and expected in American culture. If one choose to say “thank you” & “please” all day long, which won’t bother me at all, as long as they don’t expect others to express their gratitude the same way. But the problem is most people do. Everything has give and take. One that gives should have the freedom not to, but when they do choose to give, shouldn’t always expect being paid back.

This culture has become very commercialized, even the person who’s getting paid to do their job is expected to be thanked, why?? Same things goes like I don’t expect the person provides service to me to thank me just because I am the customer. Like Margret has explained, they offer what I need, I paid them, fair game. If it feels right, I will thank someone, but I don’t feel right to thank someone just to show my politeness to prove that I am not a rude person. Too much expectation creates too much anxiety and pressure.

We all need to have a core strength and confidence in ourselves, even when people don’t show gratitude, as long as we believe we are doing the right thing by giving favor, otherwise, don’t do it, because we all should feel free of obligation.

at this webiste of all places…hmmmm

http://www.gratefulness.org/giftpeople/hillesum.htm

Etty Hillesum
Mystic of the Holocaust (1914-1943)
by Robert Ellsberg

thanks

When you get a chance to listen to the podcast, you’ll hear that the guest did say that you don’t have to be grateful for everything; that some things are beyond the pale. Certainly genocide would be included in this category, but I do wish she had listed other matters she’d include, or rather “exclude”.

That said, my brother, at age 38, had a high spinal cord injury, paralyzing him from the neck down. He almost immediately planted himself firmly in an emotional place wherein he was grateful for “family, faith and friends”. He kept that attitude of thankfulness, instead of an attitude of resentment, because it helped HIM for the next 15 years of his life (an extraordinary length of time for that level injury at that time).

Thank you!
Yes!

I’d like to write your piece down, if it’s okay with you, in my book of ecumenical, international, religious/secular “graces” for the dinner table. I would love to read it to the family tomorrow.

We DO Remain!

For instance, I missed part of the show, but think that perhaps the speaker is from Canada? When young people say “no problem” to your “thank you”, their phrase feels extraordinarily disrespectful and impatient. I think that’s the idiomatic part that our speaker may not have been exposed to because it’s local. I’m not even sure if you hear it in the American South.

Also, in Rhode Island, some people say “Please?” to mean: “I didn’t hear you or understand you, would you say or explain your statement or question again?” The only thing is: it is always said, when it is said, with incredible impatience, as if the person has absolutely no interest in what you said, and, come to think of it, no interest in you. It sometimes implies that you must be from somewhere else, so your opinions really don’t matter anyway. (In other parts of the country and for many other RIers, the phrase would have been, “excuse me?” or “pardon?” VERY idiomatic!

Bye! Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!